I had a very interesting dream on Saturday night:
I was running a 10k race organised by my employer. It was a lovely sunny day and we were in a seaside town. Surprisingly there were no proper signposts for the run, but directions were posted on odd walls and shop windows: simple, hand drawn arrows and instructions in red and pink on white papers. They were just blu-tacked on. I was very happy with my pace and enjoyed the run – I was just jogging down a beach road, when I realised I cannot find any direction signs. But I was so happy with my pace and the view, that I did not care: I carried on running. However, after I while I decided to turn back and find the last direction sign, as I thought I’ve got lost because I misread it. So I jogged back into the town and found myself on a piazza. There were lots of shops with handwritten signs on their windows, but on closer inspections none of them referred to my race. I thought I’ve got lost. Then I found an organiser and asked for directions. She said the race finishes at the local cinema where the runners have to solve a riddle in return to get a ticket to the appropriate show, which is, in fact, the finish line and award ceremony. I found the cinema and queued up for ticket, solving the riddle. But when I entered the right theatre I saw that the winners are just being announced and I did not make the cut to get a medal and some appreciation. I felt really let down: I knew the only reason I did not get anything is because I lost my way and was preoccupied with enjoying my run as opposed to paying attention to the road signs. I felt really disappointed when I woke up on Sunday morning...
I couldn’t stop thinking about the meaning of my dream – I wished I had my BFF, Kathy with me: she’s awesome in understanding hidden signs and dreams!
But I had to work on it myself with some additional insight from Hubby (who’s everything but spiritual...).
And here is what I could glean out of the story
- I'm a stickler for achieving goals
- My next mini goal (under 195lbs before holiday in two weeks) are now definitely unreachable (no way I'm going to lose 12lbs in two weeks...) and it makes me feel very uncomfortable
- However, I'm “enjoying the ride”, even with the occasional setback
- But I might need to pay more attention to the signposts and directions along the way
- Because it makes me feel like a failure that everyone else is reaching their goal (the finish line) before me, even though I'm doing my best
- It might be that I enjoy the ride so much, that I'm willing to sacrifice on the speed in which I’m reaching my goal...
- I definitely need to have some deep, lotus position-kind thinking to make sure I'm in harmony with my goals and ways of reaching them – I do not want to lose out on harmony during the “race”.
So, what do you think? Meaningful stuff, huh? It’s weird and magical how our subconscious sends us messages in so many form – it just happens that sometimes we are conscious enough to get the hints...
On Sunday morning I actually felt so let down by myself – I’m sure the re-gained 8.2lbs last week has a lot to do with it! – that I just couldn’t make myself get on the train and go to the gym for my run. But when I was just about to give up on my Sunday exercise I read the next chapter in 100 Days of Weight Loss (by Linda Spangle) and it was about “doing it anyway”, even when circumstances or personal preferences or emotions pushing you not to do it (whatever 'it' may be: exercising, making healthy choices, etc.). You can imagine that it hit home... So I collected myself as well as I could and did a 40 minute Zumba session on my Wii. It actually clocked in more burned calories than I would have by running, and I did not have to leave the house: win-win. I felt so much better after doing it!
If you haven’t tried it yet, but are the kind of person who enjoys dancing and exercise for music: this will do nicely! I’m still struggling with the occasional unresponsiveness of the machine (I’m doing real good, but the trainer is still red... L ), but I try not to focus on points I’m getting for execution, but calories I’m burning by doing it wholeheartedly. (It’s hard to turn your back to your competitiveness even in such a fun occasion).
The scale this morning showed 207.8 - that's 3.2 up since 10 days ago... I hope I will lose this until the next "official" weigh in. That would give me 1.5 weeks to get rid of 4.6lbs and get under 200 - which was my minimum goal before our holiday. I will work really hard: cardio every day and lots of water...
I hope everyone had a peaceful and lovely weekend and looking forward to a great week!
Hugs, K.
