According to my nearest and dearest I should "stop losing" shortly...
Well, I'm still 20lbs over my target weight. (Why do they want to stop me now? I need to figure out their ulterior motives. But I might find some rather unsavoury facts if I keep digging.)
Like the look on my sister's face when I recently suggested I could "inherit" some of her clothes don't fit her any more... Before my surgery that could only ever be a bad joke. Now, it's fact. We are mutually not used to that. I need some major adjustments, she needs some major adjustments. I might be imagining this, but it's possible. (forgive me, sis, if this issue only exists in my head - I will do my best to work on it)
And David, bless his heart. He's so enthusiastic about having a hot wife - but now when my weight comes up in our conversations he always adds tentatively: "but you should slow down now...". Should I really?
At least I understand - I believe - where he's concerns are coming from: in the last two months he saw me in the grips of depression and was forced to witness me surviving on my pot of Muller Rice a day. Also, most of the time I did try to eat something more substantial I ended up with major stucks. All these made him worried. Once or twice he even told me that he's concerned about me turning "anorexic"- it means underweight in his books. I don't think he ever would believe I can have a really unhealthy relationship with food in the real sense of the sad disorder. He just uses to word to refer to the other end of the weight spectrum - but I understand what he means. However, it is highly unlikely I will end up with my ribcage sticking out... I just gained 3 pounds last week...
And that neatly leads me into my second point: my food choices lately.
Sad, sad, sad, sad!!! That's in a nutshell.
Following the bottom of the depression pit where I was physically unable to eat anything worth while, it seems I ended up completely off the track: no protein, no fruit, no veg, no vitamins, no nothing healthy!
Seriously: Pringles, ice cream, occasional chips... that's it. Not a lot of it, but REALLY??? After nearly a year of being so principled and meticulous with my food choices??? I'm ashamed!
Sitting at home, spending my time without much structure, attending to everything as they come up does not help me to stick to the principals of healthy eating. I hardly have breakfast. I never have lunch. I always grab something mid afternoon (usually that's my Pringles time) and then I make an effort on some healthy dinner to share with D, but most of the time I cannot manage to eat more than a spoonful or two, so after that I always allow myself some ice cream to "make up for lost calories" all day. Crazy, really.
So, as last night I finished off the pots of Ben&Jerry's I so wrongly bought last week, I promise myself to really get back on the band-wagon and to my better habits. (right now I'm sipping a protein shake, good start). That 3lbs I put on last week scared the bejesus out of me! I have to get my control back! I was 0.5lb away from being "normal" as far as my BMI goes.... I was so happy! I was going to Rome first time in my life and I will be NORMAL WEIGHT! Well, that's now very unlikely... as we are leaving next Thursday. I will do my best, tough. I promised myself something really nice and expensive in way of clothing as a reward if I can be under 25BMI for the Rome trip... So it is protein shakes and daily exercises again from now on!
And that is neatly leads my into my third point - Zombies!
Ok, I can understand the confusion on your face: how do exercise and zombies can possibly connect?
Let me let you in on my latest -and fledgeling - obsession: Zombies, run!
Anyone heard about it? It's neat little App for you iPhone aimed to make running fun. Fun, as far as you find it funny zombies chasing you down the streets...
All right, I explain: One of the first cuts I had to make during this whole redundancy nightmare is to cancel my gym membership. However, all my running experience so far happened on a treadmill. I am NOT an outside runner. I can run for an hour on the machine, but the two times I tried running on the street I ended up with both injuries and disappointment in my actual capacity in running for real. So cancelling my gym membership was a tall order: I have to find a way to re-train myself for street running. I need to start from scratch, and I need to find something to motivate me. Clue the Zombies, run! app.
It feeds into your music playlist you like to run to. The world is ran over by zombies, people struggling for surviving (The Walking Dead, anyone?). You are a lone runner and you get some random radio broadcasts about getting near Abel Township where you might be allowed into safety if you can give them supplies you pick up during your runs. There are various missions you need to complete, you are rewarded with supplies which - following your run- you can use to improve the town. While you are listening to your music and run/jog/walk the various inhabitants of the township are getting messages to you via radio casts. You can also enable zombie chases (optional) when you are notified that a swarm of zombies are right behind you (you can hear them making awful zombie noises over your music) and you need to run/jog/walk faster for a minute to evade them. If they catch you, you lose some of the supplies you've collected so far.
I did mission one today. I was allowed into the township. Yey! However, just around the corner from my house I was overrun by zombies and lost half of my supplies... It was sad and rather scary: the zombie noises really make you run for your life! However, I bumped into my neighbour walking her puppy and I had to stop in the middle of a zombie chase... What other option did I have? Shout out that "I cannot stop! I'm being chased by zombies!", ignore her confused expression and keep running? Hmm... imagine you are my neighbour... How concerned on the scale of 1 to 5 would you be about my mental well-being? So I stopped, dutifully petted the cute puppy while the zombies were munching on me in my ear... How fun!
But seriously: it is fun! Go and check them out on the App Store - it is a fairly pricey app, but this weekend they have a half price sale!
It has a built in GPS tracker, so it knows when you are nearing your starting point and adjust the ongoing mission according to that. When I run up our driveway a group of armed men came to rescue me and escorted me into safety... Honestly, it was a fun run! This was my first run since early March, the first outside run in over 4 months and I completed 3.5km in 30 min and I feel great! I also improved the township somewhat with the supplies I managed to collect. I'm hooked! Zombies, here I come!