Weight loss tracker

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

I'm off on holiday!

I thought I leave you with some historical pictures for the time I’ll be off the blogosphere (for over 2 weeks).
I cannot wait to hit the beach of my favourite Sharm El Sheikh hotel again! It’s pure bliss; and following a crappy English summer I carve for bright sunshine.

So, here are little snippets from my life – pre-band:

2007 July, Budapest:                             
2007 November, Egypt (I've lost 28lbs in 3 months):
2009 May - we were so lucky to find the most amazing photographers 
(and I was at my lowest weight since 2002)
Of course, it all came back with a vengeance:
2010 May - with Mum at Harrods' ice cream parlour (yes, we did eat ALL that ice cream...)

And an interesting and not widely known fact for the end:
I used to earn my bread as a belly dancer. These pics were done in 2002.
(hahh! I knew I can surprise you all! And if I add that I got my pilot licence when I was 16 years old, would that change your perception of me? :)

All right, wonderful people - that's all from me until 15th October.
But I can promise you a detailed report of my first banded holiday soon after we are back!


Holiday goal met!

...well, we all know that it was a "revised" goal, but still: I've done it:

I'm in one-derland! 
Can I have a round of applause, please! (- especially as it was taken 5.40am this morning...)

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

C25K completed!

I've just completed the last day (week 9 day 3) of the C25K programme!
I feel exhausted but proud! ;)

If I've done it you can do it too: www.C25K.com

Have a great evening!

Sent from my iPhone

I blame the Mexicans...

I was lost for lunch ideas today at work (no cooking last night, so no usual leftovers).
I walked up to the nearest shopping hub where I spotted a Mexican place - I thought a couple of bites of naked burrito would be just the thing on a day like this and would have some left over for tomorrow. And it was...
But I was early - they only opened at 12, and I arrived at 11.20. So I walked around the shops for a while. And that's when it happened: the nut-hut... yoghurt covered raisins and cranberries are my vice (well, two of them). And I bought a handful - and ate it too (approx 350-400kcal). I know, shocking!!!
Especially when this morning Scale Monster was gracious enough to show 200.6 - mere 0.7lb from my holiday goal!!! And then THIS happens! I have to do some major thinking on WHY did I allowed the urge to act itself out. I have no idea. It's like some other personality had taken over for 60 seconds - I have no recollection of the usual self talk I have with myself when I want to buy or eat crap. I did not even think it through - I just walked around, and found myself filling the paper bag... I feel like sh.t now...

Dammed Mexican eatery: if they open at 11 like all decent food-place around the square I would not have had this accident! Hahh!

Monday, 26 September 2011

Bad food choices and paying the price for them like an adult

In the last couple of days I've been feeling like a juggler: trying to keep all my balls firmly in the air and moving (eating right, making good food choices, exercising, not giving in to temptations, being “there” at work, being “there” at home, etc..). I know I have the tendency of dropping my guards as the our holiday is nearing (3 more days to go!) – that was always the case with me. The weak links in my chain seem to be much weaker in this situation, and I'm feeling far too tired and spent to make the extra effort required to keep all the balls in the air.

The situation started to unravel on Wednesday afternoon, when we had a company team build day for which I had shared responsibility with the boss. On my way home I stopped by Tesco to get some dinner for David (mine was sorted) and I did pick up-buy-bring home a tube of Pringles with dips. I reasoned that it is for my sister’s visit – but you remember how my mind works in these situations: it was really for me...
So that afternoon we shared half a tube of Pringles, which is not a big deal at the end of the day – however, me finishing the other half of the tube on Thursday and Friday did not bode well: that was 3 day naughtiness I’ve haven’t done in 3 months...
And that wasn’t the end of it...
Sunday was the birthday of my younger stepson (turned 14... interesting age) and I bought him a Baskin Robins ice cream cake as he loves ice cream. Well, shall I remind you again of one of my mind tricks when it comes to treating the family: I always find the way to rationalise why I buy them stuff they would not really miss, but at the end of the day it is me who wants those things not them. And this was true for the ice cream cake: yes, he was pleased to receive (and share) it with the family, but he would have been equally happy to get the money I spent on the cake instead (it was £35, 35!!!). Of course having the cake in the house meant I couldn’t ignore it completely and had one slice on Saturday, and two slices on Sunday.

All these unwise choices I made – all of them were psychological failures on my part, not physical cravings or needs – meant all the good work I accumulated until Thursday morning (going down to 201.2) turned around and ended up showing 201.8 this morning on the scale. Now I’m 0.6lbs farther away of my already reduced target of getting under 200lbs before our holiday... That’s the price I’m praying for my drop in focus, drop in will and try. It doesn’t feel good, but I know I can only blame myself. But at the moment I feel exhausted after over 3 months laser sharp focussing on all the facets of weight loss – I need this 2 week break. I know I’ll be back on my wagon completely after this easy 2 weeks and it will carry my through to Christmas – which marks my next goal I mean to reach (under 180lbs – much less radical then this one was).

I hope you all had a nice weekend and my revealing shots did not disturb your harmony too much.


Saturday, 24 September 2011

Something for the weekend (beware of the photos!)

Most of my tomatoes rotted out with all the lovely looking green fruits on them... Very devastating  news to start the weekend...

Never mind, that's not my main point. I hate my picture taken with a passion. It's because I look c..p on photos- I do not photograph well, with the exception of our wedding photos, but that was more down to the fantastic photographers than me... However, I took the advice very seriously about taking regular pictures to be able to compare and monitor my progress. I'm sure it will all make sense at the end. I'm not so sure about just now. But as I've had my surgery 3 months ago yesterday, I thought it's time to create some comparison montages. I hope you'll forgive me.

So to recap:
Day of banding:23 June 2011
Pre-op Diet started: 13 June 2011;
Starting weight: 234.6lbs
Current weight: 201.2lbs
Loss: 33.4lbs

    13 June                        27 July                         24 August                   23 September

These are not those shockingly breathtaking transformation pictures you can normally see about WLS patients, but if I look VERY closely there are visible little differences.

And a very important disclaimer: all these pictures were taken by hubby at around 7am in the mornings... hence the awful hairdos and vague expression on face.

Again, I hope you'll forgive me - especially if you've been reading my blog in your lunchtime or during breakfast.

Monday, 19 September 2011

Papaya Enzyme saved my dignity

I had my first meeting with food involved since my op.

I picked up a tiny piece of baguette (about 1/16 of a normal size) with some cheese in it. I had some little bites, but - probably due to my focus being on the conversation and NOT on my chewing action - I got well and thoroughly stuck. Like never before!
It is (was) scary! I did feel my restriction before, or had the "golf ball" feeling above my band, but it always went away after a couple (or 10) minutes.
Not this time. After walking out of the meeting-room I tried pacing around the office, but did not help. Went to the wash-room, contemplated a little more and then gave in to my first PB event... It was just a bite or two coming back. I felt a bit better, but was not over it.
I was desperately trying to figure what to do - I did not want to force any more puking action.
I remembered the papaya enzyme I'm carrying in my bag - so I chew 3 little tablets. And like a magic wand: it took the bad feeling away! Wow! Talking of fast action!
So I'm not a PB virgin any more...

And the lesson learned? Well, no more meeting food for this lady - EVER! Not even a small bite.

Support group - how much support you can get/expect?

Do you go to a local support group?

As someone, who had surgery in a different country from where I live my daily life, finding a local support group was a really important part of my pre-op research. I felt I will be needing fact to face contact with people who’s going through the same thing, I was looking forward to sharing our experiences, successes (or occasional failures) helping each other along the way.

I’ve found a local support group in London, and I attended the last two meetings.
However, this group does not seem to – or haven’t yet done so – offer much of a support. I’m definitely walking out of the meetings feeling really geared up to show people that “yes, you CAN be successful”, but I do not necessary think this is the only support my local group could give to its members.

How does your support group works? What happens at the meetings? Can anyone send me a couple of ideas we might implement to turn a 2 hours whingeing session into an actual supportive meeting?
I would love to pick up some ideas to help me and others get the best out of this great opportunity.

Thank you all in advance. 

Monday, 12 September 2011

A dream... and Zumba Wii

I had a very interesting dream on Saturday night:

I was running a 10k race organised by my employer. It was a lovely sunny day and we were in a seaside town. Surprisingly there were no proper signposts for the run, but directions were posted on odd walls and shop windows: simple, hand drawn arrows and instructions in red and pink on white papers. They were just blu-tacked on. I was very happy with my pace and enjoyed the run – I was just jogging down a beach road, when I realised I cannot find any direction signs. But I was so happy with my pace and the view, that I did not care: I carried on running. However, after I while I decided to turn back and find the last direction sign, as I thought I’ve got lost because I misread it. So I jogged back into the town and found myself on a piazza. There were lots of shops with handwritten signs on their windows, but on closer inspections none of them referred to my race. I thought I’ve got lost. Then I found an organiser and asked for directions. She said the race finishes at the local cinema where the runners have to solve a riddle in return to get a ticket to the appropriate show, which is, in fact, the finish line and award ceremony. I found the cinema and queued up for ticket, solving the riddle. But when I entered the right theatre I saw that the winners are just being announced and I did not make the cut to get a medal and some appreciation. I felt really let down: I knew the only reason I did not get anything is because I lost my way and was preoccupied with enjoying my run as opposed to paying attention to the road signs. I felt really disappointed when I woke up on Sunday morning...

I couldn’t stop thinking about the meaning of my dream – I wished I had my BFF, Kathy with me: she’s awesome in understanding hidden signs and dreams!
But I had to work on it myself with some additional insight from Hubby (who’s everything but spiritual...).
And here is what I could glean out of the story
  • I'm a stickler for achieving goals
  • My next mini goal (under 195lbs before holiday in two weeks) are now definitely unreachable (no way I'm going to lose 12lbs in two weeks...) and it makes me feel very uncomfortable
  • However, I'm “enjoying the ride”, even with the occasional setback
  • But I might need to pay more attention to the signposts and directions along the way
  • Because it makes me feel like a failure that everyone else is reaching their goal (the finish line) before me, even though I'm doing my best
  • It might be that I enjoy the ride so much, that I'm willing to sacrifice on the speed in which I’m reaching my goal...
  • I definitely need to have some deep, lotus position-kind thinking to make sure I'm in harmony with my goals and ways of reaching them – I do not want to lose out on harmony during the “race”.

So, what do you think? Meaningful stuff, huh? It’s weird and magical how our subconscious sends us messages in so many form – it just happens that sometimes we are conscious enough to get the hints...

On Sunday morning I actually felt so let down by myself – I’m sure the re-gained 8.2lbs last week has a lot to do with it! – that I just couldn’t make myself get on the train and go to the gym for my run. But when I was just about to give up on my Sunday exercise I read the next chapter in 100 Days of Weight Loss (by Linda Spangle) and it was about “doing it anyway”, even when circumstances or personal preferences or emotions pushing you not to do it (whatever 'it' may be: exercising, making healthy choices, etc.). You can imagine that it hit home... So I collected myself as well as I could and did a 40 minute Zumba session on my Wii. It actually clocked in more burned calories than I would have by running, and I did not have to leave the house: win-win. I felt so much better after doing it! 
If you haven’t tried it yet, but are the kind of person who enjoys dancing and exercise for music: this will do nicely! I’m still struggling with the occasional unresponsiveness of the machine (I’m doing real good, but the trainer is still red... L ), but I try not to focus on points I’m getting for execution, but calories I’m burning by doing it wholeheartedly. (It’s hard to turn your back to your competitiveness even in such a fun occasion).

The scale this morning showed 207.8 - that's 3.2 up since 10 days ago... I hope I will lose this until the next "official" weigh in. That would give me 1.5 weeks to get rid of 4.6lbs and get under 200 - which was my minimum goal before our holiday. I will work really hard: cardio every day and lots of water...

I hope everyone had a peaceful and lovely weekend and looking forward to a great week!
Hugs, K.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

(Scale)Horror of (scale)horrors!!

Hmm.. reality hit home this morning... and scale monster attacked with all his might! I'm being eaten, chewed and spit out by it.
Saturday morning I finally become overweight! What an achievement! I mean, I've been obese for coon's age and now I'm officially ONLY overweight! Can I have a round of applause, please?
(I had one little round from hubby - he wasn't as enthusiastic at first as I would have loved him to be, but taking the fact that I hopped on the scale at 6am on Saturday morning and then flew over the bed and bounced on him announcing the news, I think I forgive him) .


I flew to Budapest on Saturday evening: my second fill and some eye tests were scheduled for Monday. I do not fly well... Well, I do, but I suffer from Compulsive Airport Eating Syndrome. It does not mean that I eat the airport, but that I simply MUST eat  when I'm at the airport... It's one of my weak links: and I'm getting better at it, but this time half a bag of Jelly Babies deterred me from my good intentions.
That doesn't seem to be too much, but then my other weak link struck: being at Mum's place. That means eating unreasonably to the point of feeling utterly full and sick. You even think about your next meal while you are eating the current one... It's insane. I've been better since my op, but I still managed to sneak in a couple of strudels and sweet pepper stew and two apple mojitos with best friend Kathy on Sunday.

Of course I quickly back pedalled on Monday: it's fluid for me for three days after the adjustment (I'll write about that next). But true form to myself when at Hungary, I considered chocolate to be liquid twice since Monday (it melts in your mouth, so technically it is chocolate by the time it hits my stomach).

There, you have it: I've undone all the lovely work I did last week, and scale monster reminded my harshly this morning: I'm up 5.8lbs... Since Saturday morning. 4 days! That's over 1.45lb per day! I haven't even eaten that much in volume! But I ate crap - and this is the result.
If you are interested in the details, I can tell you I kept my calorie count up, and I haven't consumed more than 1800Kcal per day. Taking that all the calculators are telling me that for my height and weight I should eat 2200Kcal (to maintain), 1800 is still a deficit. But lately I'm living on 700-1000Kcal per day, so there you have it... Not to mention there were no physical activities involved, apart from lifting my hands to my mouth all weekend. Well deserved punishment!

Unfortunately this means I'm not going to hit my target of 195lbs by end of September... That's a big downer, but I try to be grown up about it and will not start a hissy-fit right now: my failure is my own making. I think I've learned an important lesson: no matter where I travel, the calorie in-out rules are the same so I must keep up my routine no matter what.

Wishing you all a lovely Wednesday! 

Great news!

As of this morning I'm not obese anymore - I'm "only" overweight! (according to the BMI calculator on my phone)
What a great way to start the weekend!
Sent from my iPhone

Non Scale Victory

I've just completed 20 min run without walking as part of my C25K programme!
I'm frankly amazed that I could do it - I've never run/jog 20 minutes in one go and I had my reservations about my body's ability to do it. But I've done it!
On to week 6!
Sent from my iPhone

Friday, 2 September 2011

The cruellest task

I'm in charge organising our team build day at work in three weeks time. Of course we are going to have the obligatory team building exercises in teams, and my boss wants to reward the winning team with a cake.
Guess who’s been tasked with finding the appropriate cake (must be either bee-themed or sport ducks and cows... don’t ask...) on the web? 

Yepp – you guessed right: little me!

It is just plain cruel – it’s like sending the alcoholic to get the booze for a party.
I’ve been looking at all kind of cake websites all afternoon – my head is spinning and I desperately want a cake! I made an attempt to satisfy my craving with an Atkins bar. It worked so far, but the day hasn’t ended yet... I’m looking forward to my 25 minutes run in an hour time.*

Have a great weekend!

*= I forgot my sports bra at home this morning, I’ll be running in proper dressy-uppy bra... I feel like giving up and going home, but I promised myself I’ll give it a try. If I “jingle” too much I gave myself permission to skip and re-try next time.

Thursday, 1 September 2011

Random thoughts...

I run 2.2 miles this morning. That’s 3.6km in continental money. My primary school PE teachers would be proud of me. It’s their fault I find running such an abhorring exercise and had never done it before (since left school). They were awful! The other night sis and me were reminiscing about the “good old times” and recounted horror stories from PE class when we were between 6 and 14 years old (that’s primary school age in Hungary). If any of those stories would happen in England today those teachers would find themselves in front of law court very swiftly... None the less, we survived. And in mere 20 years we are both running again. All wounds heal with time, it seems.

Yesterday I experienced my first “very tight” day with my band. I’ve got suspicious when even my morning drink did not want to go down straight away – it was just sitting in my pouch, barely trickling. Water, if you ask, not anything dense... For lunch I tried a boiled egg with humus. No problem ever before. Well, yesterday I was sitting on the sofa, seriously struggling with two bites of egg, not letting them come back.

After my lunchtime mishap, I was thinking about the reasons why I did feel that tight all day (it carried on into the night – even my late night chai latte did not want to go down smoothly). I recall an article I read on the web sometime about why some day we feel tighter than on others. They named stress as the main culprit, but I had a very relaxed day, so it could not be that. They also mentioned the hormonal changes in women around that Time Of the Month – you body starts withholding water and that affects your insides too: it’s not just your ankles or fingers getting chunkier, but other tissues like stomach lining too. That can cause this occasional tightness. Also, they said something about the material of the band being osmotic (or something like that) and reacting to the excess water in you by absorbing some... that is just weird! They say if you go in for adjustment on one of these tight days, your doctor might find more fluid in your band than what he put in there... (edit after publishing: here is the article: click) That made me a bit worried, as my next adjustment is on Monday, and if my body keep withholding water, my doc might not be willing to put any more liquid in my band (Heavens forgive if he finds some more in there...). Anywho, we cross that bridge when we come to it. I can try to rugby-tackle him (he’s much shorter than me) and hold him down until he agrees to a fill... mind you I have to count with the radiology doc as well... Hmm.

I know I need my second adjustment, because I get hungry faster after eating my meals and I’m focusing much more on food than I should. I do not eat more – as I’m carefully measuring every meal, but I know what I eat does not make me satiated for as long as it used to.

I did make donuts yesterday – Chocolate Protein Mini Donuts as per Shelly. First time since I bought it I used my electric mini donut baker machine. Good thing I did not get rid of it... Each donut (15 from the recipe) got 77kcal in it, and they are yummy!!! I also brought my first lunchbox to work – inspiration also from Shelly (please do yourself a favour and check out her website: it’s amazing!)
Here is a picture of it. I probably will not eat all of that... I skipped breakfast and thought I will have the boiled egg when I come to work (after my run), but did not want it really. I might have two of the ham rolls, and the mascarpone filled strawberries for snack. Will see how it goes – I still had some issues this morning with tightness.

That’s all folks – have a great weekend! I’m back next week with the story of my second fill...

(I'm planning an entry introducing "Thin Me"... that's going to be interesting... ;) )