In the last couple of days I've been feeling like a juggler: trying to keep all my balls firmly in the air and moving (eating right, making good food choices, exercising, not giving in to temptations, being “there” at work, being “there” at home, etc..). I know I have the tendency of dropping my guards as the our holiday is nearing (3 more days to go!) – that was always the case with me. The weak links in my chain seem to be much weaker in this situation, and I'm feeling far too tired and spent to make the extra effort required to keep all the balls in the air.
The situation started to unravel on Wednesday afternoon, when we had a company team build day for which I had shared responsibility with the boss. On my way home I stopped by Tesco to get some dinner for David (mine was sorted) and I did pick up-buy-bring home a tube of Pringles with dips. I reasoned that it is for my sister’s visit – but you remember how my mind works in these situations: it was really for me...
So that afternoon we shared half a tube of Pringles, which is not a big deal at the end of the day – however, me finishing the other half of the tube on Thursday and Friday did not bode well: that was 3 day naughtiness I’ve haven’t done in 3 months...
And that wasn’t the end of it...
Sunday was the birthday of my younger stepson (turned 14... interesting age) and I bought him a Baskin Robins ice cream cake as he loves ice cream. Well, shall I remind you again of one of my mind tricks when it comes to treating the family: I always find the way to rationalise why I buy them stuff they would not really miss, but at the end of the day it is me who wants those things not them. And this was true for the ice cream cake: yes, he was pleased to receive (and share) it with the family, but he would have been equally happy to get the money I spent on the cake instead (it was £35, 35!!!). Of course having the cake in the house meant I couldn’t ignore it completely and had one slice on Saturday, and two slices on Sunday.
All these unwise choices I made – all of them were psychological failures on my part, not physical cravings or needs – meant all the good work I accumulated until Thursday morning (going down to 201.2) turned around and ended up showing 201.8 this morning on the scale. Now I’m 0.6lbs farther away of my already reduced target of getting under 200lbs before our holiday... That’s the price I’m praying for my drop in focus, drop in will and try. It doesn’t feel good, but I know I can only blame myself. But at the moment I feel exhausted after over 3 months laser sharp focussing on all the facets of weight loss – I need this 2 week break. I know I’ll be back on my wagon completely after this easy 2 weeks and it will carry my through to Christmas – which marks my next goal I mean to reach (under 180lbs – much less radical then this one was).
I hope you all had a nice weekend and my revealing shots did not disturb your harmony too much.
X
K.
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