Going public

I’m in hiding. I mean I’ve not come out regarding my surgery – yet.

Of course my nearest and dearest all know it, but that’s a very limited circle of people I know or converse with on a daily basis.

I do not have a lot of friends, but only the closest ones know I had surgery. My family – well, my immediate family – also aware. Not my father... I haven’t talked to them since February and anyway, that’s a long story. None of my co-workers know it, nor people I’m in touch with on Facebook.

I kept this info from work colleagues because first I thought I would not be allowed sick leave if they know what kind of surgery I’m having. So I went with “abdominal surgery”, which my GP graciously replicated on my sick note. I always told everyone prior to the op that I just don’t want to talk about it. And they respected that. But then how can you come clear from such a “web of lies” (half truths)? I just cannot see the way. So it must remain private. But because some of my colleagues are also contacts on Facebook, I cannot really out myself there, now can I? You see how the plot thickens...

I wish I could make a general announcement telling everyone, but I just couldn’t master the courage so far. Apart from the work bit, prior to the surgery I did not tell people because I did not want to counter their disagreement or negative opinions. Now I simply scared that they will call me a liar... I know there are people out there who’d be interested in my experiences or just simply like to hear my stories, but I cannot unfortunately separate them from those who I feel should not know about it.

So I’m playing it safe. Until someone outs me incidentally. Or until I change jobs. Whichever comes first.

Have you been in these kind of predicaments? How did you solve it? Did you solve it?