Scattered brain, scattered thoughts, scattered results

I am a bit frustrated. I've been swinging back and forth between 198 and 202 lbs in the last month. Fair enough, there was over 2 week long hiatus in my focused efforts called holiday, but even since I'm back and doing the same things I did before my weight is just toying between these two figures. Like it cannot made its mind up. Or it just feels it’s to difficult for it to focus its efforts on going in the right direction. As I'm eating the usual 1029 (hahh, that’s a nice round number...) kcal food each day, I think I have to dial the exercise up a notch. At least until I start properly losing again.

This scatteredness (is that a word?) effects other areas in my life too: prime example is my reading. I’ve hoarded around two dozen books in the last two months I seriously intend to read, but every time I pick one up it just doesn’t do the usual trick of swallowing me whole so I can get lost between the pages. And I tried all sorts of topics (I am an omnivore when it comes to reading).

Even my old, reliable friend, TV has lost its appeal. There are weeks and weeks worth of Carnivale, Spooks, Six Feet Under, etc. to go through, but I just cannot face concentrating on any given topic. I cannot even sit still on my sofa for more than 10 minutes.

Is this winter setting in? The dreaded “hibernation” period coming closer? I only know that there is permanent fog around my thoughts, nothing is really clear, and it feels like I cannot make an effort in any shape or form (I haven’t even cooked a nice meal in ages, so not even that form). And what most annoying of all is that I feel like I cannot shrug this off... I believe that one of my strongest traits is that I born with the uncanny ability to pick myself up and work myself through any situation – especially when it comes to mental struggles. It seems to lost its efficiency for the time being. I’m just milling through the days, waiting for the inner shrug so I can start properly functioning again.

I’m going out to Boots this lunch break and get myself some ginseng. That might do the trick (I was very-very lax with my vitamins and supplements lately...) – and a pill cutter if I’m at it: I still cannot swallow any pills in one. I also need a good stash of Ibuprofen: yesterday I did my first run outside (as opposed to the treadmill) and my back hurts like hell...

Until next, I remain you permanently fogged 200lbs virtual friend – have a great week everyone!