Weight loss tracker

Thursday, 19 January 2012

I'm sad and disappointed - but I know why

I'm back from Budapest and meeting with my Doc.
It was an interesting experience again sitting in his waiting room. This time I wasn't overhearing unsuccessful weight-loss stories, but the pro's and con's of various Christian churches and their interpretation of the Bible... Don't ask.  I was grateful to be called in first...
Doc started again telling me I'm getting pretty "slim"... I don't like when he's telling me that. Working with so many overweight and obese people day in-day out, I believe he's point of view got slightly screwed throughout the years, and now he thinks me being 5'9.25" and 190lbs is actually a good place to be. I don't agree. I still want to lose this last 40lbs. I'm determined, even if he doesn't encourage it.
Credit where credit's due: he still doesn't want to stop me having fills if needed. After establishing that all my insides look fine, no scratches or dilation of oesophagus, everything looks just as it should, he said he could actually give me a very tiny fill if I want it. My response was: "Well, you are the expert - I take what you give me and do as I'm told." So taking into account my recent experience in tightness, and the fact that if the smudge of a fill pushes me over to the "too tight" side I will need to organise another round trip to Hungary, we decided that I'm just fine where I am. And I'm happy with that decision. And I'll do my best to work it - or I fly back for that "tiny fill" any time I want (and can afford the tickets).
Funny though, my appointment was first thing in the morning, and all day after this I could not keep proper food down. Even my pain killers come flying up in the middle of the street. It felt like Life is giving me a presentation of why the decision of not getting a fill was the right one. I've got the message, thanks!

Painkillers.... My best friends currently. I've done my back in really badly Monday morning while doing my bed. Serves me right: if I stay at a hotel instead of my mum's, it would have been taken care of by the lovely housekeepers and my back would still be fine. As it stands I'm currently laying on my yoga mat in the middle of the living room, trying to crane my neck to see the screen - I'm still in absolute agony. Against all odds, I did get ready for work this morning - and made it half way in. I then had to admit defeat, turn around, get home and collapse on the floor. I don't like to miss work, but I could barely walk.
The sad thing is this pain now puts a halt on my exercises. I was going to do Zumba and a weight training tonight. Forget that! And my long run tomorrow. Unless I'm willing to crawl the 5k...
If you top it with my 6lbs gain (probably caused by flying water retention) you can see why my mood is slightly jaded.

Oh, and this just hit me: because of this "gain" I will now lose $10 to David when I check in for my weekly report on Stickk...

I hope all of you are having a lovely day - send some smiley thoughts if you would, I really need them right now!

(afterthought: Am I PMSing? Or what the hell is this doom&gloom???)


Darlin1 said...

Wow sounds like you have a lot going on.

From personal experience and reading other blogs it's almost a given that flying makes our bands tight. Plus you having back issues...your insides must be inflamed. It's a really hard time to get a fill.

Take good care of yourself!

trisha said...

we are seriously going through the same thing?! I've been SUPER depressed and doom and gloom ever since getting back from my doc. I am annoyed by MYSELF. seriously. atleast i am not battling horrible back issues like you are.. i am so sorry girl :( i hope your back gets better soon. you've had these probs before?

do you fly to hungary or how long is the travel? such a pain in the ass to travel to see your doc, isn't it? you and i can def relate on that one! hugs xox