Here is the second part of the dramatisation of the choices I’m facing each day – I wonder if it’s just me-me-me or is it actually useful to anyone to know this?
- Take home (WL score: 2): But sometimes I do buy things – when they ask for it, or when we shop together and it makes its way into our trolley sneakily. And it gets home. I noticed that if I put these things into certain places in my kitchen then they don’t bother me much. If they need to go to the fridge, then they do bother me more. So, lately all the cookies go into our bread drawer (I don’t eat bread since my op, so I do not open that drawer). Ice cream is a lucky situation, as D only likes the big tub of Walls vanilla, while I would only eat Haagen Dazs praline&cream – therefore I’m absolutely safe from that.
- Make or bake (WL score: 5): now I found this my pitfall. I’m an avid baker! I love to bake. It is my hobby and it relaxes me. If I had a really crap day just pottering in my kitchen baking something makes me feel recharged and relaxed. I collected a massive amount of cookbooks – most about baking stuff. I have all the kit and gadget a self-confessed baking addict can have. I love making macaroons, for heaven’s sake! You can wisely say: baking doesn’t make you fat; eating the goods make you fat – and you would be very right. But – actually BUT – although my family loves eating my baked goods, they do not have a real sweet tooth. I do. So when I bake a cake or some brownies or macaroons, I absolutely MUST eat them. Otherwise they just sit on the counter/in the fridge, unloved and unappreciated and they go bad. I haven’t mastered the technique of letting that happen. I normally fine on the day of baking – I can have a sliver (calories all counted) and leave it for the rest of the day. But the next day and the day after, when I notice that no-one really touched it, I just have to have some more... and more... and more. Major alarm bells there!!! I did a fruity scrummy cake just 4 weeks after my surgery. I was still on mushies, but because no-one touched the wonderfully looking cake on the counter, I had to have a couple of slices. It stuck. That was my first experience of having food stuck on my upper stomach because of my band. It was not pleasant. It did not come back, but made me oh-so-wary regarding baked goods. Two weeks ago, on a sunny and quite Sunday afternoon I suddenly had the urge to bake profiteroles. Filled with cream, doused in homemade chocolate sauce. One of D’s favourite. I just WANTED to make them, so much! I craved for the time in the kitchen! Of course I ended up having a few – with sugar free chocolate sauce on top. That evening I told my husband: I only ever going to bake for occasions from now on. Christmas, birthdays: bring them on! But no more recreational baking for me! It is really difficult. I’m collecting WLS friendly baking recipes, but not doing too good (until I’ve found Shelley’s blog) Now I’m planning to try her protein muffins over the weekend. Family’s not going to like them, but it is about me now. I need to find a way to channel my Inner Baking Goddess, but not jeopardize my weight loss efforts. I have to solve this!
- Display on the kitchen counter (WL score: 5): as above. These are normally goods I baked/made. Things we buy in store end up in their rightful places around the kitchen, and I do have quite a lot of temptation free area – I make a conscious effort to visit those, if I must eat. I stuffed my cupboard with various Atkins bars... they’ll do when I’m in sore need of a sweet-kick and they boost my protein intake too.
- Eat (WL score: 2): Ok, if/when I reach the point of putting things into my mouth that has been a conscious decision on my part. The days of eating meaninglessly are over for good! I can hand-on-heart honestly say that. And when I eat anything I measure it out, I count the calories and I log it in my food diary. ALWAYS. No exceptions. Even little bites – they all add up. Because of hubby and the family, I do cook for all of us (no special meals for me L ) and I eat the same as they do – with minor tweaks. Let’s say we have roast chicken with all the trimmings (potato included): I will roast some cauliflowers and have that instead of potato. Or if we have some curry I do not have rice (haven’t touched rice since my op) but I have a ¼ of a flatbread or pitta. Between work, exercise, family life and my reading addiction I do not have the time to cook separately for myself and my family. But I’m trying to make best of this situation, and so far it’s working. (knock-knock-knock)
- And eat some more (WL score: 2): you know the feeling when you become aware that you should stop eating, but the food is so tasty or you still feel hunger and just keep on eating? Another important thing I’ve learnt on my journey is that my stomach doesn’t need much food to be happy and my brains does not have eyes to see how much I eat. It’s my eyes and my old bad habits that keep me wanting more than my little WLS share of a meal. Two months out, and they still do: “oh, that’s not going to be enough! You are going to stay hungry! Are you kidding us?!” and so on and so forth. I’ve got this with every single meal. So what I do it that I measure and calculate the calories in my meal BEFORE I eat it. Then I sit down and try to eat VERY slowly, with tiny bites, chewing my food to an inch of its life and when I finish I walk away from the table. Sometimes I still feel hungry, and the leftovers are calling for me. But I wrestle those thoughts temporarily – in less than 10 minutes I know I’m not hungry anymore and the temptation goes away. It really does. Try it!
So, to conclude this massive two part drama, it is obvious that I have to work on the following areas:
- Making/baking food
- Leaving tempting food in sight permanently
Somewhat less serious, but still needs work:
- Buying things
I have to work on coping strategies for these. Doesn’t seem much, but when baking is your hobby how on earth can you abandon it cold-turkey? I’ve been thinking about piano lessons...
I would really appreciate your thoughts on these. What are your weak links and how did you/do you conquer them? Let me know...
Have a great weekend Everyone!
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