Weigh-in habits - the good, the bad and the ugly

• How do you do it?
• On what day?
• What time of the day?
• Once a week or more?
• Any magic spells for before/after?

I do it once a week (officially). Monday morning, first thing (well, second... but you know what I mean: all that water must go before...).

My scale were playing up recently. Last Monday I stepped on, and it showed 1lb off. Cool! However, I stepped off and on again, and it showed 2lbs up... ho-hum... Which one is correct then? I haven't done a third try. I settled for the 1lb off (while making a mental note of the 2lbs up). I changed the batteries in the monster - that might teaches him changing its mind in quick succession! Hahh!

So, this morning, second thing, I stepped on again. Now, if I took the optimistic figure from last week, then I stayed the same. However, if I take the other number, then I'm down 3lbs. So I did another step off and on again, but the monster stuck to its first opinion (changing the batteries worked, at least!). So did I. I stayed the same. TOM is approaching, so I take this for the week and looking forward to next Monday. ;)
(I will sneak on on Thursday afternoon, just to make sure I'm on track...)

And all this above sounds like a reasonable approach. HOWEVER...
Do you sometimes take some laxatives the day before your weigh-in, just to make sure the monster is showing your "real weight" as opposed to all the food you were eating in the last 4 days? No, neither do I.
Do you keep re-weighting yourself throughout the morning (and day) just to see what difference a no.1 or 2 makes? No, neither do I.
Do you keep various spreadsheet to record your weight, but there is one for "official use" (meaning only the Monday figures) and one for "with all honesty"? No, neither do I.
Do you try various days of the week and times of the day just to see if there is big enough fluctuation in the right direction so you can show it on your spreadsheets? No, neither do I.
Do you secretly know the reason why you did not lose that week, but pretend not to? (Maybe a sneaky cheesecake...) No, neither do I.
Do you shout from the rooftop and wake your beloved at 5.30am when you lose, but keep ominously quite when not? No, neither do I.

That's all folks. Have a great Monday!